Here Comes The Sun do do do do, Here Comes The Sun And I Say It's Alright do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do...

The suns come out for the time being and everyone is complaining about the heat already!

Yesterday I went into Solihull with Gemma, I had a look at the jobs and I managed to stop Gemma from buying a CD, despite the band having a really cool name, it's pronounced Alexisonfire but I'm sure it should be Alex is on fire!
We then went to McDonald's, Gemma didn't like the green things on her burger so she put them on the chair but because the chair was red she covered them in ketchup, we sat somewhere else waiting for someone to sit in them, we waited 90 minutes before finally giving up and walking off, it would have been so funny to see someone walking round the shops with 2 pieces of gherkin stuck to their arse!
In the evening Me, Gemma and Helen went to the Flapper, on the way there we were going through Sparkhill and there were loads of police in the street, as we went past this one road we could see it was blocked by a police car parked across it, it was only today that I found out that someone was murdered there last night. But on a brighter note the Flapper was good, we sat outside on the balcony in the rain and Helen knocked her pint over!
Today I slept until about midday and went to Sainsburys which seemed to take forever!

...Bloody hell it's hot!...

currently listening to: Million Dead - I Gave My Eyes To Stevie Wonder
Gemma is currently listening to: Fiery Furnaces - Tropical Ice-Land
Mr High-Speed Garage is currently listening to: Some Streets shite

I Would Walk 500 Miles...

After the most boring weekend ever I thought I'd try and make this week a bit more interesting, I finally got round to watching Spiderman 2 the other night, the first time I downloaded it I pressed play and noticed that it wasn't Spiderman 2 but Van Helsing in Spanish and filmed on a camcorder! So I tried another download and in the end got Spiderman 2, the film itself was crap and filmed from a camcorder in a cinema, you could see some bloke's head in front and people standing up when this woman needed to go to the toilet.
It was the usual super-hero storyline: super-hero wants girl, super-hero can't get girl, super-hero gives up being a super-hero and starts living normal life again, super-hero has evil nemesis who has special powers after an experiment goes wrong, girl who super-hero likes gets kidnapped by evil nemesis, super-hero gives up normal life to become super-hero again and save the girl, super-hero defeats evil nemesis, super-hero gets girl, the end. Sorry if anybody who was going to see the film reads this but I was doing you a favor!

Monday I went to Nottingham with Gemma, as I was on my way to the bus stop this short fat woman started shouting something at me, I think it must have been some sort of curse, she then threw a Nutri-Grain bar at me! I met up with Gemma in Birmingham and we went to New Street Station only to see Alex on the same platform as us listening to Splashdown on his i-Pod and stood by the only drinks machine in a 5 mile radius!
The train journey took about 90 minutes in total, we went through Derby on the way, if you've never been then don't bother, all that's there is a hill, a pile of rubbish and a man trying to dig his way out!
We got to Nottingham and it was really good! If you can imagine Birmingham with a lot less Scallywags and a lot less pigeons but with trams then that's Nottingham, it also had some really cool music shops including a HMV, a Virgin Megastore, a Fopp and a place called 'Was' that sold secondhand CDs and vinyl. Also it had 4 McDonald's, 3 Burger Kings and 4 Subways.
We did lots of walking so we had a well deserved sit down at a pub called Foremans, it was painted yellow on the outside which was cool then as we walked in they were playing Lyrical Content by [spunge] , it was a punk pub and they had a sign inside on the wall written in Sex Pistols style saying 'Never Mind The Bollocks It's The Foremans', after a sit down we carried on walking and found Rock City which is a really cool rock club, we took some photos of it and after being terrorized by a wasp we went on to the Rescue Rooms, it didn't look as nice as it did in the photo but that's a good thing really in case it attracts all the trendies!
We then tried to find a clothes shop in Broad Street but got a bit lost and ended up in this shopping centre, there was only half an hour until the train left so we decided to go back to the station, but where we thought the station was there was nothing, we then realized we were lost and only had a few minutes to get back to the station!
We asked this woman at an information point and she pointed to the top of this map of Nottingham and told us that we were there, she then pointed to the bottom of the map and told us that the station is there. We got to the station on time and got the train ok!
We got back into Birmingham for about 7:30 and had a Subway, then as I was waiting for the bus home I noticed loads of black smoke coming from Millennium Point, not sure what that was all about.

Tuesday I went into Birmingham, had a look round at the lack of jobs, saw the bloke who thinks he's Michael Jackson again then went round the museum with my smelly friends, there's a really weird picture at the museum, it looks like 3 rooms but when you move so do the rooms, it's like being drunk but I wasn't sick. You can learn all sorts of useful information at museums, for example I found out that the hardest substance known to man is out of date jelly babies!

Both Monday and Tuesday I enjoyed loads but I did so much walking that today I slept almost all day long and I was planning to get loads done, I did some gardening this evening just so the day didn't feel wasted but I think I've broken the lawnmower now...bollocks!
Also I've managed to work out what the 3rd ice cream van song is, it's the beginning of School's Out by Alice Cooper, maybe ice cream vans aren't so bad after all then!

currently listening to: Queens Of The Stone Age - You Think I Ain't Worth A Dollar, But I Feel Like A Millionaire
Gemma is currently listening to: The Rasmus - Guilty
Mr High-Speed Garage is currently listening to: Some Mis-Teeq shite

Plink Plonk Plink Plonk...

Don't you just hate ice cream vans? Today not even 5 minutes has gone without an ice cream van going past playing either the match of the day tune, greensleeves or some song which nobody can recognize. Having loud scary plinky plonky music blasting into your house as well as 'hard house garage beats' from Mr High-Speed Garage isn't the best thing for when you're trying to concentrate!
Thursday night Me, Adam and Jo went round 'The Notman's' house to watch a DVD but forgot to bring anything to watch, luckily Jo had bought a Buffy the Vampire Slayer board game with her so we attempted to play that, the rules were a bit crap:

• You cannot reveal your character to any other players
• You cannot reveal your colour to any other players
• You can move any counter on the board in any direction
• You will get bored after 5 minutes and decide to play Simpsons Cluedo instead

We started playing Simpsons Cluedo, we got it all set out and had been playing it for a few minutes, when Carl ran out the room to get some drinks we came to the conclusion that we were bored of this game and we wanted to play Atmosfear. It was Atmosfear 3 we played and instead of the gatekeeper we had this witch called Anne de Chantraine who started off as a normal person and then started making pig noises and turned into a witch!
I can now exclusively reveal everyone's worst nightmares, Adam's was falling off the balcony at Touchwood, Jo's was man eating spiders, Carl's was being forced to Listen to David Gray and mine was an ice cream van selling foot shaped balloons!
Friday I went into Birmingham to look for some work, nothing much was going, I met up with some friends while I was there and walked to The Custard Factory, saw a man who thought he was Michael Jackson, a fat pigeon and a man covered in Christmas tree decorations!
...random!
Today has been rather boring though, all I've done is eat, sleep, watch TV and look for work, although I think a man outside has either lost his hippo or his Zippo lighter I can't quite work out what it is he's shouting out!

...I'm so bored!

currently listening to: Taking Back Sunday - A Decade Under The Influence
Gemma is currently listening to: Evanescence - Bring Me To Life
Mr High-Speed Garage is currently listening to: Some 50 Cent shite

Mow, Mow, Mow The Lawn, do de do do do...

The sun came out for all of 5 minutes today so I thought I'd try and mow the lawn, due to the crap weather and the fact that I've been buried alive by coursework over the past few months the lawn got a bit neglected and was over a foot long!
It was really difficult to cut and the lawnmower was making a noise like it was about to blow up which is never a good sign, but I never knew mowing the lawn could be so fun! First of all when I had done the one side of the garden I pulled the extension lead to the side out of the way and as I looked up there was someone's cat sat next to the lead, the wire went flying towards this cat so it jumped backwards and hit the shed which I'm sure if I caught it on video and sent it off to Jeremy Beadle I'd be £250 richer now and all my problems would be solved!
Also as I was nearly finished this cloud of white powder appeared, I stood there in absolute shock wondering what on Earth had just happened when I saw a piece of cellophane on the floor, I looked at it and it said 'Surf', then as the smell of lemon freshness filled the garden I realized I had mowed over a washing up tablet which had been randomly placed on the lawn!
Everyone went to see Spiderman 2 last night but due to my broke-ness I stayed at home and started downloading it off Winmx...It's still downloading now!

currently listening to: The Cranberries - Zombie
Gemma is currently listening to: So Solid Crew - 21 Seconds
Mr High-Speed Garage is currently listening to: Some Usher shite

Wake Up Wake Up Wake Up!!!...

ARG!!!!!!! What do you have to do for a decent nights sleep round here?
After being woken up early on Sunday morning by Mr High-Speed Garage I went to bed last night hoping for a good sleep but I'm kept awake by somebody's car alarm which goes off all night long! And the chances of catching up with any sleep are slim now because Mr High-Speed Garage has got his 'Pure R n' B' blasting out for the world to hear!
Stress!
Maybe I should sue him for ...being noisy or something, but as I type this Mrs High-Speed Garage has come out and is yelling at him for sleeping with her mum or something, I hope they go on Trisha!
I need to get out the house, all this job searching is so tedious, the highlight of my day so far has been the phone ringing this morning and it was my uncle asking for Ian, I think he had me mistaken for my cousin, although it's on a par with the sausage roll I had for lunch!

currently listening to: The Ordinary Boys - Talk Talk Talk
Gemma is currently listening to: Cartoons - Witch Doctor
Mr High-Speed Garage is currently listening to: Some R n' B shite

Burp!...

Went out last night. We started off at the Flapper, there were 3 bands playing. Firstly there was a group called The Mantle Twins who were quite good, they did a cover of that irritating Milkshake song, when they started playing it some bright spark in the audience went "Yay! Slipknot!"......ok then!
Next up were a band called My Marilyn, their image didn't quite go with their music. They looked like a 'you don't get us' type of gothic/new romantic band but they sang a song that sounded just like 'When will I be famous?' by Bros, something else that didn't go with there image were their strong brummy accents and the fact that they said they were from Chelmsley Wood!
The final band were Rattlesnake Remedy, I'd already heard some of their stuff in the past so I had some idea of what to expect, they're a cross between Guns N' Roses and Aerosmith and had haircuts like my dad did in the 70's, the lead singer -who Gemma knew from school- was a bit over the top, he came into the audience and climbed on a table at one point - I felt a Jarcrew moment coming on but luckily I was ok! One thing I didn't like though was this woman stood next to me screaming all the way through, I'm deaf now!
We then went on to Subculture which was good, there was no sign of shithead which was even better! Plus there were no injuries either this time but quite a few weirdos and strange haircuts, there was this weird bloke in the toilets singing about Nottingham Forest mid-slash and wanting me to join in, and this other bloke who got on stage at the end of the night and started doing this crazy dance and being a total ass before security dragged him out.
Finally got to bed at 4:30 am but was woken up at 9:30 by Mr High-Speed Garage having an early morning rave!...Puneta!

currently listening to: Dogs Die In Hot Cars - Godhopping
Gemma is currently listening to: The Libertines ...and so is Helen!

When Will We Ever See The Sunshine?...

It's a miracle! Last night just before I started out I started searching for my debit card so I could take my last £10 out of the bank, I put my hand in my bag which I took on holiday and I felt what I thought was a few coppers but when I counted them I realized I had £16 and not a few pennies!
We all went to Shirley Temple last night for a Chinese, it was really good! I had some Chinese lager called Sun Lik which was very nice, the meals are all on a revolving table so you can eat everyone else's food, we had chicken, duck and pork and all felt very full up afterwards. We were even given a lesson on how to use chopsticks by the bloke who worked there who looked chinese but had a cockney accent! While Jo had gone off to the ladies the bloke asked us if it was her birthday so we told him that it was, when she came back I was in the middle of telling her about my sister's accident with fake tan when the lights went out and this fanfare started playing, they bought out an ice cream with a candle on it for Jo while on the stereo they were playing Happy Birthday off one of those CD's which have songs on for weddings and birthdays etc. I found the words funny, they went like this:
"Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday dear insert name here
Happy birthday to you"
When it came to paying I got all my £16 of change out and was counting it, the cockney/chinese bloke said to me "Don't worry mate, everybody gets into deep shit with money from time to time" ...I'm not in deep shit... It's more like up to my elbows!
After the chinese we went over the road to the Red Lion, while I was sat down someone mistook me for Jo's dad, I've been called her brother, her boyfriend, her flatmate and now her dad all in the space of a month, what next? After finishing our lager and champagne and watching a fight almost start, Jo and I went to the Barley Mow. I've always had bad memories of the Barley Mow whether it was the old granny who kept groping me, the girl who was positive that my name was 'Ron', or the fight I was almost in, I was starting to have second thoughts as I walked in, but it was all ok!
My sister's started a new job this week in an office, as I type this she's just been dropped off home absolutely drunk after 6 double vodkas on an empty stomach! Go sis!
I guess we all learn our lesson, I've learnt never to mix lager with champagne and ice cream!
I'm hungry now!

currently listening to: The Distillers - The Hunger
Gemma is currently listening to: Eiffel 65 - Blue (Da Ba Dee)

Is It Summer Yet? Coz I Just Don't Feel It...

It's July! It's meant to be sunny! It isn't! What's up with that?
I'm still catching up with sleep from the holiday but it's taking longer than I thought, I've spent the majority of this week in the land of nod although on Monday I went to see Shrek 2 which rocked the casbah good and proper! I'm now broke so I'm going to have to find a job and sell my car too so if anyone is interested in buying a black g reg 1.4 Fiesta let me know!

Have you ever drank so much that afterwards you wandered what you must have done when drunk?
Gaz, here's your answer:


Happy 19th birthday Jo!
We're all going for a chinese at Shirley Temple now so smell you later!

currently listening to: The Offspring - Why Don't You Get A Job?
Gemma is currently listening to: Fast Food Rockers - The Fast Food Song

So Much Better On Holiday...

I'm back!!!!
Got home at about 10:30 last night and was exhausted, fell asleep on the setee and woke up at about 4am! While I was on holiday whenever I got bored I kept a note of what we've done and where we've been...

Saturday
Started out bright and early (10 am), we all got to Adam's house and left for Combe Haven at 11. The journey took 5 hours and wasn't too bad, the weather went from cold and rainy to bright and sunny then to cold and windy just on the way here!
The caravan was 'cozy', there was a double room, a twin room (with 3 beds, one being a bunk) and a bed on the setee.
We all went to the oasis café bar for our tea. While we were sat waiting for our meals I noticed that half of the women there had at least one black kid. In fact we were waiting quite a while for the meals, me, Gaz and Jo all nearly finished ours before Adam and Carl had started because they had forgotten to give them their meals!
We had to sort out who was sleeping where, Jo had the double bed, Carl had the setee so me, Adam and Gaz had to have the 'twin' room. As we were making the beds we noticed something - the number of duvet and pillow covers were lower than the number of duvets and pillows and to make matters worse - there were dodgy stains on them! I had the bunk above the 2 beds, it wasn't that easy to make the bed, plus I was trying to avoid contact with the mattress! When I climbed up the ladder into bed my initial thought was 'this isn't too bad', but when it came to lying down my feet were touching one wall while my head was touching the opposite wall, plus I couldn't sit up in case I hit my head on the ceiling!

Sunday
(9:30 am) Had the most uncomfortable nights sleep ever, I hurt! My hip is sore as is my head due to me forgetting about the ceiling when I woke up. Also I've just started reading Are You Dave Gorman? which I started reading 2 years ago and never got round to finishing, hopefully by the end of the holiday I will finally finish it!
(11:05 pm) Finished it! It's been raining all day so the majority of today has been spent either reading or playing on the Game Boy!

Monday
(11 am) All decided to get up early but got to bed at 4 am! The weather is a lot better today!
(5:25 pm) Went to Bodiam Castle, there were too many school kids and German people there but the sun stayed out, well until we got to the car at least. Had a McDonald's on the way back too, it was the tidiest Maccy's ever! Even the scallies spoke posh! But now I'm bored!
(7:30 pm) Went to a shop called Essentials, because after all, it is essential to have a keyring with your name on, a puppet of a penguin and a mug saying 'The World's Best Nan'. Gaz has bought a frisbee, we all threw it about by a random empty caravan before we all got bored/tired/hungry. As I write this we are having the TV replaced, it suddenly decided it didn't want to work - not that there's much on worth watching though!

Tuesday
(8:35 pm) The weather has been good to us today, we went to Drusillas Park which is a zoo. There was a really cool musical thing there with animals singing about the food chain, if you pressed the button for an animal they would join in with the song - there were also some animals there!
(11:00 pm) Had a Chinese, it was sweet and sour king prawn balls, although the king prawn balls were more like prawns in tennis ball sized lumps of batter - I feel so sick!

Wednesday
(12:35 pm) We stayed up until 4:30 last night playing chase the ace where the loser had to take a shot of whiskey, we got through a whole bottle, and me - the lightweight champion - was surprisingly ok, even though I'd had quite a bit! Everyone's up now playing on the computer - again!
I'm starting to get a bit bored!
(2:45 pm) Oooh excitement! We're having a big thunderstorm, it's only 4 miles away and the caravan is shaking and I'm eating a pot noodle, it's all going on here!

Thursday
(9:30 pm) Yesterday was utter crap! We stayed in all day sitting around bored and watching the rain, we watched the film Election which was quite good. Today however we went to Hastings, it was rainy and windy so it would have made sense to do something indoors, we parked the car and walked about half a mile to the Smugglers Caves which were quite good and were haunted by this bloke called Hairy Jack who was fluent in French and looked like Captain Birdseye. We found a really cool pub called The Anchor which had a jukebox and all the regulars had written stuff on the walls, not only that but I almost had a free surf and turf!
Afterwards we went to Underwater World which is like the Sea Life Centre but shit! In both the Smugglers Caves and Underwater World I noticed there were large groups of French people there who were surprisingly speaking French, they seem to run straight through the actual exhibition but spend about an hour in the gift shop!

Friday
(23:45 pm) Spent last night playing Rummy but if we couldn't put our cards down we had to make up a swear word starting with 'A' then 'B' then 'C' etc. (yes, all the alcohol had ran out!) I was woken by a text at 7:45 this morning by somebody but went back to sleep and everyone ended up getting up late. We went to a village called Battle which was where the Battle of Hastings took place. I found it all rather boring! Later we all went to a nearby pub for a meal called The Comet, they had an award for their toilets which I found pretty random but when I went to use the facilities I realized why - firstly I found the sign on the gents door amusing, it had a picture of a cockerel and it said 'The Cock' (snigger!), then inside there were paintings of dogs playing cards (I wonder if they were doing shots of whiskey or making up swear words), then as I was washing my hands I was so distracted by all the other paintings that I tried drying my hands under the condom machine! After my meal (which was almost free due to the fact that they forgot to ask us to pay) I was enjoying an orange sorbet when I realized that the man sat behind me had very bad and uncontrollable flatulence! Then the Karaoke started, Gaz said he'll sing White Wedding but luckily we talked him out of it. The bloke who was running the Karaoke was dressed in tight jeans and a red vest which we found funny, he also was desperate for people to sing, I reckon he would have paid us if we had sang. In the end these 2 blokes went up and sang a Savage Garden song which everyone found a bit lame until we realized that the line 'Until the sun goes down on me' had been changed to 'Until your mum goes down on me'. At the moment we're all playing Mashed on the X-Box, Carl keeps winning, I'm sure he enjoys being jammy!

Saturday
(9:00 pm) On our way home now, just a few more miles! Had 4 hours sleep last night, which isn't advisable, we went to Herstmonceux Science Centre which was full of telescopes and science stuff, I thought we were going to get thrown out at first because Carl started throwing these big orange balls around. There were some cool experiments there, we all distracted Carl with a water experiment while Gaz attached an exhaust pipe whistle to his car but it fell off when it came to leaving!
I've just bought Dude, Where's My Country? by Michael Moore it all looks very interesting - expect me to finish it in 2 years time!

...I always like coming home off holiday, your house always feels tidier than you ever remember it to be, you realize how much you've missed sleeping in your own bed, how good your own shower really is and your mom's cooking tastes better than before!
There's other random things that happened on the holiday too such as the way Jimmy Saville, Rod Hull and Emu, Bats, Batman, Spiderman and various other things seemed to be brought up randomly in conversations or appear on TV on a daily basis, PSI, and not forgetting 'I thought you were special...Arrhhh!'. I think I'm still in holiday mode though as I bought a McDonald's earlier and bought some extra chicken McNuggets to warm up for tea!

currently listening to: Hell Is For Heroes - Five Kids Go
Gemma is currently listening to: The Cheeky Girls - The Cheeky Song

It's Friday already!...

The past few days have been a bit mixed, went to the Sharmans on Tuesday, had the pub quiz and all that, our team consisted of 9 people and we still came joint 5th, and then someone asked if me and Jo were brother and sister......?!
I've been feeling a bit 'under the weather' the past few days, not sure if it is because of the shitty weather, or the stress of getting my shitty coursework finished, or something else completely, my money's on the latter! ...I worry too much

BUT...Looking on the bright side, my coursework is all (mostly) done and handed in - Huzzah! I'm going on holiday tomorrow with Adam, Gaz, Carl and Jo to Combe Haven which is near Dover - Huzzah! I've had my hair cut today - Huzzah! And I've stolen Ceff's word - Huzzah!
So it's all good!
I'm just hoping the weathers going to be a bit better next week than it has been here!

currently listening to: Biffy Clyro - 57
Gemma is currently listening to: Hanson - Mmmbop

...Puneta!