Getaway Car...

Well I’ve decided to take a few minutes away from my college work to update my blog, I have a month to cover so I’d better get to work.

A few days after my last blog we all went to the pub quiz at the jug again, we were expecting to lose again as it was pretty packed, but after getting 10 out of 10 in nearly each round we felt like we were in with a good chance of winning…

…and we were…sort of. We came joint first place with 2 other teams (one of which being Helen’s team) and we won half a gallon of beer for our troubles (that’s 4 pints).

The next night we decided to spend our winnings wisely so we went to the jug again. Being a Wednesday there was a band playing upstairs so we decided to watch them while drinking our free beverages.

The first band were a local band called The Magnetic Four, they weren’t too bad, although they had the curse of the warm up band and so the room was pretty empty.



Next up were Carousel Circus, I’d heard one of their songs before and quite liked it, they were pretty good although I couldn’t get over how much the one guitarist looked like Gaz but with longer hair.


The final band were called Exist and they had a huge fan base, they even had someone filming at the front. I recommend you check them out and listen to ‘The Fear’, what spoilt it though was some stupid kids doing this stampy dance all the way through their set, one of them even stamped on my foot a good few times too.



That Saturday I went to Stratford with Adam and Carl, Adam decided to go the extra long way there instead of just going down the Stratford Road and we ended up going through Alcester, I felt like getting out the car and asking someone there if they pronounce it “Al-cester” or “Alster”.

When we got there it was fairly busy but luckily I remembered the car park we parked in the time before. As we were walking round we realized that if you’ve been to Stratford before there isn’t that much to do so we went to Cox’s Yard for a drink instead.

As Easter was approaching I had loads of coursework to do and due to my computer being a complete retard and my road full of arseholes who can’t keep quiet, I decided to have a few days at my dad’s house, that way not only I’d be seeing my dad and having a change of scenery but I’d be able to get some work done on a computer that can actually load stuff without crashing…or so I thought.

I caught the coach on a Thursday, the second I sat down on the coach though a foreign looking man was stood next to me staring, at first I thought he wanted a look at my marvellous free iPod, but he just wanted to sit next to me. Normally I have nothing against complete strangers sitting next to me, sometimes they can be good to talk to if you have to spend 5 hours sat in the same place, although this man not only didn’t speak English, but he wasn’t fluent in the universal language of washing either, he smelt so very very bad, I felt like donating him a bar of soap and maybe some toilet roll too…yes it was that bad!

When I finally got to Bournemouth I could stop holding my breath, my dad met me at the station and we grabbed a Chinese. My dad needed my help fixing his new DVD recorder because he’d set the scart leads all up wrong, after I sorted them out he told me there was something else which wasn’t working right…his computer.

Now normally when I hear the words ‘computer’ and ‘fix’ in the same sentence I run a mile, but this time I really needed to use the computer so I decided to try and fix it, it seemed like he had a virus of some sort because programs were closing randomly, luckily Photoshop and Word were still working so I’d be ok as long as the computer didn’t blow up or anything in the next few days.

The next day we went to a place called Arne, I’d been there before years ago, all I remember though were some signs saying ‘passing place’ which some clever dick had changed to say ‘pissing place’ and ‘assing place’, these things are funny when you’re 15, and they are just as funny when you’re 24. Arne is one big nature reserve, it had birds flying everywhere and deer prancing about all over the place.

We always run out of ideas for places to go to while down in Bournemouth, however the next day we decided to go somewhere a bit different, we got in the car and headed to the Isle of shite…sorry…white.

The weather forecast was good so we planned to do a lot of walking, however as soon as we got off the ferry it started to rain, we decided to drive round for a while until the rain stopped, little did we know it would rain up until the last ferry was due. We only got out of the car to eat and to take a photo of the needles, it felt like a bit of a wasted journey, although it beats doing college work.

That night I wanted to get some photos done so I looked around my dad’s house for something to photograph. In his conservatory he had 2 big fish tanks full of tadpoles, now I’m not talking a few dozen, I’m talking literally thousands. As I was looking at them my dad told me how they had started growing legs and once they grow arms they’ll be able to climb out, little did he realize that nearly all of them had grown arms already. I took some photos of them anyway but the little buggers never keep still.

The next day we wanted to do something that would make up for the lack of walking at the Isle of White, we headed off to Lulworth cove, from what I could remember when I went there with the school it was quite a nice little walk, however when I went with the school we parked in the nearest car park.

My dad parked in a car park which was absolutely miles away, we had to walk miles just to be able to even see the sea and by the time we got to Durdle Door my legs felt like jelly, after taking in the view and watching some speed boats go through the door we turned round and headed back, when we got back to the car I felt like I was going to die, all I needed was some good food.

Luckily we stopped off at this pub on the way back, we’d been there before last year and from what I could remember it was pretty dull and basic but the food was nice, however this was a year ago and the pub had had a refurb since, it had become a H.J. Wellfed pub and was the best pub I have ever been in. H.J. Wellfed is a pretty new thing but I reckon in a few years time they’ll be huge.

Monday was my last full day there, it was also a bank holiday so not many places would be open, we decided to go to Swanage, mainly because we couldn’t think of anywhere else to go. When we got there we walked up to the pier to see if anybody was fishing but everyone must have had better things to do because we were the only people there, after a walk along the promenade we went to have a look at the trains and then headed off for some more food.

The next day I came home, on the way home however the coach stopped at Southampton and we all got put on another coach, the journey took forever and it thought it would never end, luckily it did though and I finally got home. That night we all went to see Ice Age 2, I could have done without more sitting down to be honest but the film wasn’t too bad and we went to the masons afterwards where they sold a double Jack Daniels and coke for £2.50 which was even better, the rest of the night was a bit blurry, all I remember was waking up with the taste of animal food in my mouth.

A week went by with nothing happening, then the next Thursday evening the door went, it was a bunch of chavs looking at my car, they asked me if I was selling it and how much I wanted for it if I was. Seeing as it was a pile of (potentially lethal) crap, I told them they could have it for £40 if they could get it going.

After about 2 hours of them messing about with it (and having about 20 chavs stood round playing high speed garage and Robyn S on their mobiles) they finally got the engine going. Baz (or Marc as he's known to his mum) filled in the log book and got into the 'pukka motor'...seriously he said pukka! Nobody's said that since Jamie Oliver was alive...what do you mean he isn't dead?

Anyway that was that all finished with...

…Or was it?

(To Be Continued)