London Calling…

So I’ve eventually calmed down after the incident with the bus, here’s an update.

Last Sunday I went to take photos at the Lickey hills with Adam, it was pretty cold and I didn’t take that many photos due to my camera deciding not to work anymore, the shutter wouldn’t release and when it eventually did work all the shutter speeds were longer than they should be, which also means that my photos of the cigarette ends might not have worked so I’d have to do them again.

I got a text off Jo, she was back for the weekend and wanted to know if I could go to the pub quiz that night, but it was my uncles 50th so I had to go to that because he’s moving down to Weston with my aunt soon.

When I got home I was more or less ready to go to the party despite my mum telling me that I looked a complete mess. We walked down to my Nan’s house and got a taxi which not only reversed into a cable box but set off a speed camera on the way.

The party was at my aunt and uncle’s house in Walsall, I have always imagined Walsall as a bit of a shit hole from what I’ve heard about it but it didn’t seem like a bad place to me.

When we got to the party most of my family were there as well as a few people that we are related to but nobody is quite sure how. They all say the usual thing and ask how my college work is coming on. We also met the newest member of the family - 10 month old Oliver who can scream for England.

My aunt and uncle are rather well off, he was until recently working at Quaker with quite a good job but now buys and sells china and she is a manager of one of the floors at Rackhams. They had a buffet, most of the food looked too good to eat, instead of the usual sausage rolls and volauvents they had lobster and duck.

My mum started to freak out at one point as I was eating after seeing a whole prawn on my plate…

“Oh god! Don’t eat they eyes!”
“…Chicken nuggets don’t have eyes…”

All in all it was a good night and it was good to see the family again, although there is something disturbing about a 5 year old singing Babycakes.

Tuesday I had college, I took my cigarette photos again which worked this time, I‘ve noticed that as I‘ve been drinking less just lately I‘ve been able to get more work done, maybe this is a good thing.

Came into college (late) on Wednesday morning during the middle of a presentation on flash blur, us second years couldn’t have made much of an impression on the first years because the 3 of us that bothered coming in were all at least an hour late.

On Thursday we had a trip to London, the original plan was to go to Vision 2004 and meet the photographer Martin Parr, then to do some flash blur, however personally I don’t like Martin Parr’s work and neither did anyone else on the course.

We all had to be at the college for 7:30 am, I was up at 5:00 am, got ready really quickly and ate my breakfast in a rush, when I got to college I was starting to feel rather nauseous and was trying my best to keep it all in, the coach came and we all got on it, I started feeling worse and didn’t want to make any sudden moves, luckily in the end I started to feel better and we got to London chunk-free.

We got off the coach by Earl’s Court underground station, we then and caught the tube to Embankment where me, Jazz and Ashley left Jo and Claire and caught the tube to Camden Town, as soon as we were off the tube we headed straight to KFC, this was my first KFC since I was 15, I kept having images in my head of something I read about someone who was eating chicken nuggets from KFC and found ‘something’ inside.

After our KFC’s we had a look round the shops, in Camden people are selling magic mushrooms on the street and stare at you directly in the face in the hope that you might buy some crack off them to save having your face smashed in.

It was raining quite badly as we were looking round the market, I got soaked, strangely everything in the market was £10 and was sold be a Chinese person, if you looked at anything you would hear…

“You like? You like?”
“Um…it’s ok”
“10 pound, 10 pound”
“I don’t know, maybe next…”
“Try on, go on, try on…egg fried rice”

After meeting up with Jo and Claire again we went to this pub which I cant remember the name of, as I was about to order a pint of Carling I stopped and ordered a Coke instead, I’d officially quit drinking and I even made a point of mentioning it to everyone, I was quite pleased with myself.

We then headed back to Camden Town tube station and (after losing my day pass twice) got the tube to Leicester Square and then Covent Garden while watching the dull nobodies staring vacantly into their newspapers. When we got to Covent Garden we had to get out of the station so we walked up these stairs, trouble was the stairs went on forever and we were all knackered by the time we got to the top.

After having a quick look around the market there we went to the Punch and Judy pub to meet the others and I almost fell down the stairs. We’d only been in there a few minutes and I had a pint put into my hand, not only had I quit drinking but I’d be needing a piss all the way home.

We walked to Trafalgar Square to get back on the coach, some ‘bad boi’ graphics students were smoking some naughty stuff like the gangsters they are and then we had to listen to them bragging to their friends about it all the way back on the coach.

Unfortunately we were caught in traffic all the way back and it took 4 and a half hours, Ashley got a text from her Nan saying there was snow back in Birmingham, so that was something to look forward to as I wait for the bus home, and as predicted I did need a piss, I had to use the smelly coach toilet and ended up cutting my finger on my belt while I was in there too so I came out covered in blood.

I was so glad to get back from London, it’s a stupidly big place and the people there have no manners at all, it makes me proud to be from Birmingham.

Random photo of the day:


Pen

currently listening to: Drugstore - El President
Gemma is currently listening to: Babycakes
Mr High-Speed Garage is currently listening to: Some N.E.R.D. S.H.I.T.

Things Can Only Get Better…

After spending the whole of last week ill at home this week had to be a bit more interesting.
On Sunday night I found out that I had college the next day, not only was it Monday and I wasn’t feeling too good but it was contextual studies too, we were going to be given our 4000 word essays to do.

I decided to make the effort and go in, we had a new tutor which is good because the last one was a total assclown, when I got there somebody who shall remain nameless said some thing to piss me off almost straight away, but after a while I decided that I’d ignore the negative comment and I’d buy myself the Million Dead album to cheer myself up.

When we got into Solihull Jazz and Ashley wanted to drag me round some girly shops, I didn’t mind that much until Jazz went off to try a dress on and Ashley started looking at the underwear section, as she was crouched down looking at the pants, people started giving me funny looks as it must have looked like I was some sort of pervert stood in the middle of the women’s underwear section on my own talking to myself. After that we had a well deserved Burger King and I got my CD.

In the evening we had some fireworks round Adam’s house, but seeing as I didn’t have a lift I had to walk all the way to his house from Shirley, I got a coke from Burger King so it wasn’t so bad although you’d think there would be a bin somewhere along the Stratford Road.

On Tuesday I had college again, although my brain wouldn’t work unless I had another Burger King so we all went there for lunch, when we got back to college I finally took the photos of the cigarette butts, they wouldn’t stand up but I did it in the end.

We now have college on a Wednesday too, so we were told to get there for 9:30, I got there for 10:00 and was only the second person there, I had nothing to do so we all went back to Burger King again, it’s my 4th visit to Burger King within 3 days which is a bit worrying - isn’t that how Elvis started?

When we got back to college we found out that a crime had taken place, a half full box of black and white photographic paper which must have cost about £10 had been stolen, it was last seen on the table next to the Nikon D-100 which costs about £1000, this was obviously the work of a criminal mastermind.

Thursday was my day off, so I spent most of the day asleep, in the evening we all went round Carl’s house, he bought Halo 2 and we were meant to link the 2 X-Box’s up and do a multiplayer, however Ralph forgot the lead to link them up so we had to use just the one TV and leave someone out in every game, as we were packing up at the end of the night we realised that he did bring the lead after all.

Today I had college again, I didn’t have to be in until 1:00 and it was web design so it wasn’t so bad, we did some animation and I tried to make a ball bounce up and down but it just stayed in mid air.

When I came out of college it was freezing, I was tempted to go back to Burger King but I had to stop myself. I stood at the bus stop hoping the bus would come straight away.

…It came…

…and went…

I couldn’t believe it, the bus had stopped, opened the doors, let a few people on and driven off leaving the rest stood there in disbelief, at the time I didn’t mind too much though because a few minutes later a 49 would be along and I could get that, the 49 came and was full so it drove off.

At this point I was starting to get very angry, especially because all the school kids had come along, the 6, A6, 166 and 30 all did the same thing and refused to stop, I was so cold and was tempted to walk home, I looked at the time and a 69 was due, I decided that I’d through myself in front of the bus to make it stop, even if it doesn’t stop I can sue West Midlands Travel for running me over, but it didn’t come. Eventually the 49 came with the 69 right behind it. In the end I got home at 5:00 - 2 hours after I finished college!

Random photo of the day:

Coathanger

currently listening to: Graham Coxon - Freaking Out
Gemma is currently listening to: Sonique - Feels So Good
Mr High-Speed Garage is currently listening to: Some Ja Rule shite

Let's All Go Hand In Hand To The Local Polling Station And Make Our Own Categories, Then Vote For Ourselves…

I had the day off college yesterday, I was going to make the effort and go in but I felt too ill so I went back to bed, the night before I downloaded Fahrenheit 9/11, if you haven’t seen it I suggest you do so, it’s all very interesting and you won’t look at president Bush in the same light again afterwards.

I’ve never had much of an interest in politics or anything like that, but after watching that film it made me realize how much I was against George W Bush doing another 4 years at the White House, not only had I spent hours downloading and watching Fahrenheit 9/11 but I’m also (still) reading Dude, Where’s My Country? by Michael Moore…oh yeah and I went on that anti-Bush march in London a year ago too.

So I spent my day off sat in bed watching the US election on Sky News.

…it beats going to college!

currently listening to: Rage Against The Machine - Sleep Now In The Fire
Gemma is currently listening to: Los Del Rio - Macarena
Mr High-Speed Garage is currently listening to: Some Eminem shite

I’m Not Sick But I’m Not Well…

Time to update this thing again!

My half term was as boring as hell, we had the radiator hooked back up and we were told that the boiler needed checking so we got it checked and they condemned it because it is dangerous and the people who put it in were wankers.

Friday night I went into Brum with Gemma, we spent ages trying to find the Actress and Bishop but in the end we found it, luckily it had a late licence, inside was Ugly Phil (who really is ugly in real life and about 5 foot tall) off Kerrang radio and a bloke who looked like Gareth from The Office, Gemma had work the next day so we left at about 12:30, we got on the night bus and I had to wake up this dead bloke who wanted to get off the bus at the Robin Hood pub, there was also this weird bloke reading this self help book, he looked like he really needed the help too!

Jo came back this weekend for a few days so on Saturday I went round her house, Gaz and Carl were there playing on the computer, Gaz had bought this game called Donkey Konga with involved using bongos, I was crap at it and Jo kicked our asses. After a while we got bored though and decided to pay Adam and his hot date a visit at the ice rink, however when we got there we couldn’t see Adam’s car so we just went to the Olton Tavern instead.

When we got back to Jo’s house Adam was already there and we all watched X Factor, as much as Gaz was enjoying it though he had to go to work but I bet he set the video. X Factor soon got boring so we decided to go and see Shark Tale at the cinema, it was ok but I don’t think I’d see it again. After the film we went to the Plough, I think we were all knackered by that point though because it had been a long day.

On Sunday I went with Gemma and Jo to see Hell Is For Heroes play at the Academy, I got the bus (which some Sharon had thrown up all over) to Jo’s house then we got the bus into Brum, why do people on buses stink?

When we got into Brum we went to the Actress and Bishop, we found it with no trouble this time, after a quick pint and a toilet break we headed off to the Academy.

I was quite surprised that the gig was going to be held at Academy 2 because I thought it would be a bit packed.

…I was right…

There wasn’t much room to move, we squeezed our way to the table selling merchandise where Gemma bought another copy of One Of Us by Hell Is For Heroes, there were only 2000 copies made and I think she has most of them, she got the CD signed by the drummer and then picked up a handful of Iodine stickers, one of which ended up on my back.

After buying our expensive pints of Carling we managed to get a place at the front just as Aerogramme were starting, they were ok, a bit hairy though.

The gap between Aerogramme and Hell Is For Heroes seemed to last a lifetime but eventually the lights dipped and The Tragedy Of The Leaves by Charles Bukowski was read out, it went like this:

I awakened to dryness and the ferns were dead,
the potted plants yellow as corn;
my woman was gone
and the empty bottles like bled corpses
surrounded me with their uselessness;
the sun was still good, though,
and my landlady's note cracked in fine and
undemanding yellowness;
what was needed now
was a good comedian, ancient style, a jester
with jokes upon absurd pain;
pain is absurd
because it exists, nothing more;
I shaved carefully with an old razor
the man who had once been young and
said to have genius;
But that's the tragedy of the leaves,
the dead ferns, the dead plants;
and I walked into a dark hall
where the landlady stood
execrating and final,
sending me to hell,
waving her fat, sweaty arms
and screaming
screaming for rent
because the world had failed us both.

As the poem was being read out Hell Is For Heroes came on stage and as soon as the poem finished they kicked off with 3 Of Clubs the crowd went mad, this bloke with big hair who had pushed in front of me starting head banging and I got a mouthful of hair - it tasted like coconut.

I felt like the oldest person there and loads of kids kept crowd surfing, the singer even crowd surfed on 2 occasions, the security were having a field day.

They played most of the songs off The Neon Handshake plus some new ones too, the singer did this PK jump from the top of the room over the drum kit during Sick Happy which was impressive, towards the end some random woman kept putting her arms around my neck and then saved me a place back at the front which was kind of her.

The final song they played was their new song - Kamichi - which they stopped halfway through and walked off stage only to finish it off in the encore.

When the lights came back on and it was all over and everybody started leaving, as I was talking to the photographer about band photography, the lead singer walked straight past me but Jo managed to grope touch his rear end twice and get a plectrum (not from his rear end).

On the way out we saw the singer sat at the merchandise table, he signed mine and Jo’s tickets and Gemma’s CD, we then all decided that our expensive Carlings had taken their toll and a toilet stop was needed so we headed back to the Actress and Bishop where we’re starting to become regulars.


Look - It's signed!

It was a bit weird how after a night of being punched, kicked and elbowed (mainly by Jo) I got on the bus feeling fine, I yawned and felt something at the back of my throat pull, my throat is my weak point and I knew that the next day I’d be regretting it.

Monday morning I woke up regretting the yawn from the night before, my throat was really painful and swollen, I took it easy all day and watched Most Haunted in the evening, this man got possessed by a witch a broke a mirror over his own face which is always entertaining.

Today I’ve been at college feeling ill and fluey all day, people kept going on at me to do some work but all I wanted to do was sleep, and sit in a comfy chair.

So glad I’m home!

currently listening to: Kings Of Leon - The Bucket
Gemma is currently listening to: East 17 - House Of Love
Mr High-Speed Garage is currently listening to: Some Outkast shite