So apologies for my last blog, this one will be a bit less angry…well just a bit.
Let’s start last weekend…in fact…let’s start last Saturday at about 3:20 am. I was in bed and suddenly I’m woken up by my mum’s phone ringing downstairs, whenever the phone rings at this time of night it either means bad news or that somebody’s drunk. I ran downstairs to see that it was my sister ringing my mum off her new phone. My sister had just got a new Nokia n95 and we just presumed that she was just trying it out seeing as she was upstairs at the time.
I went back to bed only to be woken up at 6:45 am by a blank text from my sister. Half asleep I closed the text and went back to sleep. 10 minutes later I get another text from her…
“Text me back its lisa”
…this seemed a little bit strange, but I texted back “Ok” and waited for a reply. A few minutes later I get a text back…
“Can we meet”
…shocked by the lack of punctuation and the fact that she was in the room next to mine, I decided not to text back but to go downstairs, that way she could hear me going down and meet me down there. I waited for a good few minutes before texting asking if everything was ok. Suddenly my phone rang…
Even though the call came from my sister’s phone, it was Dean that was phoning me and it sounded like he was outside. I went back to bed only to hear him banging on the front door about half an hour later and my sister letting him in.
He claims he wanted to phone his aunt and rang me accidentally, although I get the impression that he doesn’t trust my sister. When my sister asked him why he keeps ringing us, he lost his temper and broke my sister’s brand new phone before walking out in a temper…
…Dick!
Anyway, enough about that. On with the blog.
That Saturday despite being half asleep I went into Solihull with Gaz to help him find a father’s day present for his dad. When we were going back to the car it started raining, despite the car not being far we got drenched. We had planned on going somewhere that day but due to the weather we all decided to watch a few DVDs round Adam’s house.
We rented out Epic Movie and National Lampoon’s TV: The Movie. The first film we watched was Epic Movie, I had the feeling it would be a load of crap and it lived up to all my expectations, not only were all the jokes old and predictable, but I found it slightly anti-white. All the white characters were portrayed and being slightly thick and the villain is called the ‘white bitch’ and she keeps everyone down.
After Epic Movie was over we watched TV: The Movie. This had to be one of the weirdest films I’ve ever seen, it featured some of the cast of Jackass doing these various sketches on a really low budget. I didn’t enjoy it much but it was a hell of a lot better than Epic Movie.
The next day we planned to go somewhere, we all got in the car but as we started off we realized that we didn’t know where to go. In the end we ended up at Earlswood, we walked around the lake and looking at all the dead fish before ending up in the playground again on the swings.
Adam and Marcus took the big swings while I was left with the baby one. As I sat on the top of it Adam dared me to climb into the seat, and being one to never turn down a dare I did just that. As I was getting into it though I managed to get stuck, and what made things even worse was turning round to see Gaz filming again…
…git!
Eventually I got to go on the big swing and just to show off I jumped off…
…hmm.
We then quickly climbed that tree again before heading back to the car and heading home. That night was my mum’s night off so we stayed in and watched Hot Fuzz, I could tell she enjoyed it by the fact she stayed awake all the way through.
Monday evening Gaz turned up at my house with Adam, Marcus and Jenny in the car, when I asked where Carl was Gaz told me he was in the boot, I laughed at first only to realize that he really was in the boot due to Jenny coming along last minute and there being a lack of seating.
We headed back to get Adam’s car and then went bowling, it was pretty dead there so we didn’t mind making prats of ourselves. I was trying my hardest to tolerate Jenny all night, even though she asked everyone for the deposits for the holiday right in front of me. She eventually pushed me over the edge though when she went to the jukebox and chose the most god awful songs ever, although anyone would do the same if somebody chose 2 dance versions of 80’s songs.
After bowling, Gaz dropped me back home while Adam gave Carl, Marcus and Jenny a lift home. As Adam was about to go the normal way back though, Jenny told him to go down Houndsfield Lane, the trouble with this though is not only this road is really out of the way, but the road is almost always flooded…especially after several days of continuous rain.
Unsurprisingly, as Adam was going through the ford his car managed to grind to a complete halt. Now what is the worst thing you can do when you’re in a car that’s about 3 feet deep in water?…
…that’s right…open the door!…
…and Jenny did just that. Adam’s car was flooded from the inside too now. They phoned Gaz who helped them push the car out of the water, eventually by 3am the car was working again, but still soaked.
The next day we all went round Carl’s house, everyone was still knackered from getting to bed so late. We played on Halo 2 and Wii sports before all getting too tired and going home.
On Thursday I needed to go into Solihull, my sister had been to Toni and Guy a couple of days before and had her hair done, the only problem was that when she went to pay by cheque she managed to mess up the last cheque in her book and when she went to pay by card it was declined, so they kept her card until she paid up. Because my sister was now back at work I had to take the cheque in to them and get her card back.
When I walked into Toni and Guy I walked up to the reception desk…
“Hi, my s…” “Ah yes, Lisa’s brother!” “…Huh?…um…yeah…”
God knows how they knew I was Lisa’s brother, I don’t think we look that much alike…although maybe if I had long blonde hair…or maybe not.
Yesterday was my aunt and uncle’s silver wedding anniversary. It’s quite weird to think they were celebrating 25 years of being married, on the day of the wedding I was there and only 9 months old. The plan was to get to the all saints church centre in Sutton Coldfield for 7pm…no problem!…although we are talking about my family here…
I was ready for 6, no problem there. However, my mum and sister were still rushing round panicking about what to wear by 7 and weren’t even ready until 8. We were going to get a people carrier with my nan, aunt, uncle and cousins, but even when we were ready they still hadn’t started.
At about 8:30 my cousin decided that it would be easier to drive us there first, so he turned up in his brand new Mercedes CL class coupé. Now, this car had it all, in fact, there wasn’t a lot it couldn’t do…however it was missing one thing…a middle seat in the back, I spent the whole half hour journey there sat on this plastic tray thing, by the time we reached Sutton Coldfield my leg was numb and I had to drag it behind me as we walked in.
It was weird to see members of the family that I’d not seen in years, it was even weirder when they have to ask who you are. After a while we helped ourselves to the buffet and a drink when suddenly there was a rush to one corner of the room, it was like a stampede, then I realized…they’d put the cake out.
After helping myself to the last few crumbs of cake I sat back down only for my aunt, uncle and cousins to finally turn up (this was about 10 pm) when suddenly the lights went out and this cloud of smoke formed, only to hear the DJ say…
“It’s time to turn this party up a notch!” *strobe lights start but no music* “What are you doing?…Turn it off!” *strobe lights stop*
At this point my mum took her hands from over my eyes and the DJ started playing some Tina Turner. At these kind of occasions the only people who go on the dance floor are kids and grandparents, although after a while my mum and aunt were up there dancing with my nan while me, my sister and my cousins were all sat there embarrassed, although my nan did manage to out-dance nearly everybody there which isn’t bad for a 90 year old.
At the end of the night my aunt drove us home, she took the quick route which took 30 minutes longer than the way my cousin went. As soon as I got home I watched an episode of Harvey Birdman and then went straight to bed and slept for a good 10 hours.
As for my last blog, well nothing’s been said since. I’m getting the impression that Jenny imagines that I tell her I can’t go anywhere. I’m not even going to start talking about it because it makes me unbelievably angry.
Two weeks without updating, which means one of 2 things - either I’ve been too busy to write anything, or too lazy. Fortunately I’ve been busy with stuff, there is lots to cover so hopefully you’ll understand the lateness as you read on.
Going back 2 weeks, to Sunday the 27th of May. It was the day before Marcus’ birthday and we needed to celebrate it somehow, so me, Gaz, Carl, Marcus and Jenny decided to all go up Jongleurs comedy club on broad street, I can’t for the life of me remember any of the comedians that were on that night but they were all good. Although I do have one problem with most stand up comedians - half the jokes are always about their genitals, it does start to get a bit uncomfortable after a while when the 4th bloke in a row gets on stage and starts telling you about his penis.
After all the comedy was over we decided to all go for a drink in the bar downstairs, however this was the very reason I hate broad street - it was full of people posing and doing stupid shaky ass moves to RnB music. After 20 minutes of standing round looking a bit out of place we decided to get some food and try somewhere else…somewhere we’d at least recognise a few of the songs.
We crossed the road and went to Reflex (after Gaz had finished trying to eat his fajita), now this was my first ever time in Reflex and to be honest it was much better than I’d ever expected it to be. We all had a really good night and they even played ‘I Think We’re Alone Now’ by Tiffany which was the highlight of my night, I love that song and whenever I hear it I have to dance like a fool…unfortunately I think Gaz already knew that because I looked up to see him filming…
…Ok, you can’t see me dancing there, but I can assure you that you’re witnessing the rare event of me dancing.
The next day was bank holiday Monday, my voice was almost non-existent and my wallet was lighter than my feet during a Tiffany song. I needed to do something, but it had to be cheap. I rang Gaz and he was about to go over to Selena and Kieron’s new house with Carl so I put my shoes on and joined them.
This was the first time I’d seen their new house and it was really nice. The Xbox 360 was set up to their massive HDTV and we played a bit of Halo 3 and WarioWare until it got late and we had to leave…but then I remembered that it was half term which meant that nobody had anywhere to be the next day, so we set my Xbox 360 up and played on Guitar Hero 2 until about 2am.
The next day was my sister’s 22nd birthday, we didn’t do much because my dad was coming up at the weekend. Dean came over in the evening with some flowers despite my sister still ignoring all his calls and him phoning about 30 times a day…but more on that later.
On Wednesday I went to Carl’s house with Gaz for a bit of WarioWare, we discovered a game on there called Bungee Buddies which involves 2 people stood side by side jumping when they come to obstacles, you have to jump to make your character jump. As me and Carl were doing this one level I thought to myself how stupid we must look, only to look up and see Gaz filming again…
…it makes me laugh how the sound effects are timed nicely with us jumping.
Thursday and Friday were spent making the garden look slightly more presentable, I hadn’t mowed the lawn properly in over a month due to me being ill and the stupid amount of rain we’d had, it wasn’t easy to cut but I managed it just about.
Friday evening was spent round Selena and Kieron’s house again for some Halo 3 time, we could have stayed up playing it all night but I had to be back for about 1am because my dad was coming round the next day.
If you’re reading this now and you’re thinking about how uneventful the past fortnight has been so far then it’s all about to change…
Saturday morning my dad comes round, we decided to all go to the plough for a meal, my nan came along too which was good because she’s always a good laugh. I looked at the menu and was torn between the minted lamb steaks and the mixed grill, eventually I went for the mixed grill.
When it arrived I was tucking into the steak when suddenly…*crunch*…that’s not a good noise to hear when eating steak, however I battled on and finished the meal. When I got home I noticed that my back tooth didn’t feel right, I knew it was slightly decayed but I decided I’d see how it felt the next day…
…Sunday came and I was in agony, I knew something didn’t feel right, my tooth felt twisted and it made my whole face ache like when I had neuralgia a couple of years ago. I spent the majority of Sunday and Monday in bed hoping it would pass.
Monday evening my sister got home from work, she was without Dean for once. I came downstairs to say hello and she was sat there in silence with my mum, I could tell something had happened.
Dean had turned up where my sister works with a knife in his pocket, my sister made him leave and said she’ll meet him later. After work she comes out to see him being forced to the ground by 2 police officers, he had the knife in his hand, she said there were police dogs and about 6 police cars, they arrested him and told her that if she wanted to get in touch he’ll be at Belgrave Road police station.
We were all shocked by this, my sister was upset but said she wanted nothing more to do with him. Just by weird coincidence though, seconds after she told us about all this the fuse for the lights blew in the fuse box.
My mum started stressing then and my tooth was feeling worse, I needed to get out of the house and luckily Gaz turned up so we went over to Carl’s house for a bit more WarioWare. While we were there though my tooth was killing me, I remember being sat there in agony, I had to do something about it quick.
Tuesday morning I got up and made an appointment at the dentist, the fuse needed changing but it could wait, this tooth was more important. When I got there I had to fill in a questionnaire thingy before being called in, I sat down in the dentist’s chair, the dentist was this camp Greek guy…
“So when did you last make a dentist visit?” “Er…about 10 years ago…” “Naughty naughty man…now open wide for me…” *scowls*
He told me that my tooth was broken and was also decayed, he took an x-ray of it and booked me in for a filling on Thursday. He also told me that my teeth were in perfect condition, which is good seeing as I hadn’t been to the dentist in a decade.
While I was waiting for the bus back home I kept having my view of the bus obscured by my hair, this was starting to piss me off a little so I decided to get it cut that afternoon, but first I had to check out the new Subway that has opened by me. Although what is better than having your favourite sandwich place open right by your house?…HAVING A MIDGET WORK THERE!!!
I was over the moon, my tooth hurt like hell but I didn’t care any more. I got home, ate my sandwich and then went out again to have my hair cut, it looks so much better now it’s been done, I can see again and no longer look like cousin It from the Addams family. Now I could see again I could fix that fuse too.
That evening my sister got back from work along with Dean, he told us that there was a misunderstanding and that the knife was in a box inside a bag and that it was for cutting his aunt’s lino, I’m not sure if I believe him. Later on me and Carl went round Gaz’s house, instead of playing Halo 3 we thought we’d be a bit retro and play Halo 2, it’s still a great game even if it is a few years old now.
Wednesday was spent mainly taking paracetamol and looking forward to my filling the next day. I never thought I’d see the day I’d be looking forward to getting a filling.
Thursday morning I got up bright and early ready for my filling, I went over to the dentist and was told to go up to waiting room 4, when I got there I stupidly sat in the chair that was under the low sloped ceiling, before I had change to change seats the dentist called me in. It was the same dentist as Tuesday, I didn’t mind as long as the tooth got filled. I sat down to be told the bad news…
The x-ray shows that the tooth was decayed down to the nerve and therefore the nerve was dead, which means that the tooth had to come out, at this point I was beyond caring and told him to take it out. The trouble with this was that this was a tooth at the very back…
After getting a few injections the dentist pulled out a screwdriver type thing and tried making it loose, I couldn’t see what he was doing but I know he was twisting something and I could really feel it. After a few more injections and about 20 minutes of twisting the dentist told me to stop biting his hand and then reached for the pliers, the tooth wouldn’t budge but eventually I saw him pull this bloody piece of bone out of my mouth, his exact words were “Oh my god! You’ve given birth…to a monster!”. He showed me the tooth, it was a lot bigger than expected. In fact if you’re squeamish or just a little wuss you might like to look away…
…despite being a bit out of focus you can tell how big the tooth was, he washed it off a bit and showed me the other side…
…what felt like a tiny bit of decay was actually a lot of decay, the dark red bit is the skin that came off with it. I needed time to recover before I could stand up again and had my mouth wedged full of cotton wool. It cost me almost £50 to get the tooth out but it was worth it, I highly recommend that dentist to anyone who needs to see one.
So now my mouth is swollen and I can’t eat solid foods, but on the other hand I don’t have a broken decaying tooth causing me problems anymore.
Anyway before I finish this blog I’d just like to say a massive congratulations to Gemma and Woody who got engaged on Thursday!
I’ll leave you until next time with a song from Mulligan and O’Hare…
