Wish In One Hand, Shit In The Other, And See Which One Gets Filled First...

Well my cold has all cleared up now so it’s time to blog again, yes I know this is backdated but you’ll just have to put up with it.

Ok, so last Tuesday I had to sign on again, for some reason I was really paranoid that they’d ask for a detailed essay about everything I’ve been doing in the past 2 weeks to look for work. After coming up with a story about my holy quest for a job I got to the job centre and took a seat…

“Mr Robinson please!…”
“Hi”
“Hello…”
“The past 2 weeks I’ve been looking…”
“Sign here please”
“Huh?”
*makes an X on the line* “Just here”
*signs*
“Next please!”

So that was a weight off my shoulders and a rather easy £115, they didn’t ask what I’d done or even check my book. I decided that I’d buy a DVD to celebrate so I bought season 4 of Family Guy.

That night me and Gaz turned up at Adam’s house, he’d just bought season 5 of Family Guy on DVD so we watched a few episodes of that before heading off to the plough.

The rest of my week was pretty boring, although on Saturday evening a fuse blew which meant we had no electricity upstairs or in the kitchen, we had fuse wire to fix it but the porcelain that the fuse wire had to go through had cracked in half…that was my excitement for the day anyway.

I also watched Garden State which was really good, it’s slightly weird in places but on my watch that’s a good thing. Here’s a trailer…



On Sunday we’d all planned to go to the memorabilia exhibition at the NEC, Gaz picked me up and we headed off to Marcus’ house to pick him up with Jenny. When we got to his house Gaz phoned him and Jenny said they’d be out in a minute…20 minutes later we were starting to wonder if they knew where the front door was, we sounded the horn to give them some clue but there was still no sign of them. Jenny then rang Gaz asking where he was because she couldn’t see him, then we realized that they were at Jenny’s house, not Marcus’.

We decided to make our own way to the NEC and Jenny and Marcus could meet us there. After queuing ages for a cash machine and having a quick subway we headed off to buy our tickets, luckily we didn’t have to queue and we got right in.

The first thing we saw was the Tardis, I wanted to walk inside pretending it was a portaloo and then open the door a few minutes later asking if anybody had any paper, but I didn’t want to be beaten to death by Dr Who fanatics so I decided to leave it.

We then saw some celebrities, first of all there was David Carradine, Leslie Phillips and David Prowse, then as we were moving on we got attacked by some Daleks…well I say attacked, it was more like they parked in front of us and we had to walk round them, either way it still was an inconvenience.

After that we visited the sports section, Joe Frazier was signing boxing gloves for about £50 each, he also had about 20 bodyguards…probably in case people were unhappy about paying £50 and caused a scene.

Next up was the James Bond section, Gaz got to fire off some of the guns they had there before having a second go and totally annihilating the paper target they had put up. As he finished some Stormtroopers were about to have a go, Gaz saw them and shouted…“Stormtroopers can’t shoot for shit!”, hearing this one of the Strormtroopers turned round to see Gaz pointing at me, the next thing I know I have a gun held to my head and am told to get down on my knees, I don’t know which I was more scared of - the gun against my head or the fact I had to get down on my knees.

After making a quick escape we all regrouped near some seats where we could see Darth Maul eating his lunch, it always makes me wonder if they have to go home on the bus dressed like that.



On the way out we saw R2D2, he whizzed round whistling and beeping at little kids (I bet he was really swearing at them), he then went up to us and said something about my mother, I would have kicked his ass if he had one.

Afterwards we went back to Gaz’s house and watched Phantom of the Opera before playing on Superman on the Xbox 360, by this time we were all thoroughly knackered and all needed our sleep.

Until next time check out this cool new movie starring Rob Schneider…



…Tum ta tittaly tum ta too!