Have You Ever Had A Mountain Goat Grab You By The Scrotum And Run Away With It And Then Sell It On Ebay A Day Later?...
Another week has gone by which means it’s time for another blog. Last week started off just like the weather…dull!
Monday I was expecting a call from the job centre about job seeker’s allowance, they told me to expect a call any time between 12:30 and 7:30 which meant spending all day waiting for the phone to ring, luckily I’d ordered Metal Gear Solid 2 off eBay for a fiver and it came that day, so I had something to pass the time with. When they finally rang they continued to ask me more stupid questions, one question being my age and another was asking if I was a pensioner, I guess that would only work if you were trying to catch somebody out. Anyway I have an interview tomorrow which should determine whether I qualify for JSA or not.
On Tuesday I got up to hear a knock at the door, it was the postman delivering my graphics tablet. I excitedly set it up and spent a few minutes trying it out…well that few minutes turned into the majority of the day and by 6pm I decided that maybe I should have some breakfast or tea or whatever.
I’m getting more and more excited about this photo restoration business, I’ve been restoring some more old photos and I was going to upload a few to show you, but unfortunately I’ve just closed Photoshop and I can’t be bothered to open it up again to change the images to jpegs so I’ll just upload the one for now. I’ll try and scan the original so you can do a before and after thingy, the thing you have to remember though is that this photo was a passport photo so it was the size of a stamp and the dust and creases were huge.
On Thursday I decided that I couldn’t see and that it was time for me to get my hair cut. I went to my usual place only to find that they were running late, the old woman sat next to me said that they were ages doing one lady’s hair, I looked only to see it was my mum. At this point I felt like I’d been set up, my mum had been nagging at me for weeks to get my hair cut shorter and I had the feeling that my haircut was about to go horribly wrong. All the time I was having my hair cut I had the feeling that my mum had had a word in the hairdresser’s ear, but it went ok until it got to the final bits, my mum had already left and the hairdresser combed my hair over my eyes as she did the bits at the back…
“I’ll just trim the bits at the back for you…”
“Ok…”
“Last time, didn’t we shave the…*BZZZZZZ*…side bits?”
“No!!!…”
“…Sorry…”
As I pushed my hair out of my eyes I saw the hair from the left side of my head floating down to the ground, I felt like stopping her from doing the right side too but that would just look stupid so in the end I let her. (Un)Surprisingly my mum loves my hair like this, but I thoroughly hate it, maybe after a week or so it’ll settle down a bit, or at least I hope it will.
Annoyed at my haircut I decided I’d go into Solihull and try and take my mind off my hair while avoiding any kind of reflection at the same time. As I was about to start out my phone rang, it was Gaz asking if I fancied going into Birmingham to help him find a suit, so I decided I’d go to Birmingham instead.
When we got there we looked just about everywhere for Moss Bros. All we could find was some suit shop in the Pavilions who pointed us down new street. In the end we found the right shop and had a look round, it was rather expensive so Gaz chose to buy one ex-hire instead of brand new. As he was trying on a suit I was stood outside the changing area holding his jacket, this middle aged man comes up and decides that he won’t bother with the changing area and that he’ll start getting undressed while stood right next to me. My initial reaction was to jump out of the nearest window but then I decided that I’d pretend I hadn’t seen what he was doing and I’d walk off casually, luckily he put his clothes back on and left.
After Gaz put in his order for the suit we went to the Bull-Ring for a little look around the shops, it was while we were fighting through the crowds that I came to the conclusion that there are 3 types of people who like to annoy you in shopping centres:
1. The Zig-Zag - This person is unpredictable and will suddenly change direction just as they are in front of you, or more than likely will change their direction to walk right into you.
2. The Chain - This is always made up of a group of 2 or more people walking slowly, usually holding hands, they form a human chain which results into you having to take a detour to overtake them.
3. The Full-Stop - A method usually chosen by the elderly, the person suddenly screeches to a complete halt right in front of you, this causes you to stop and try and overtake them as they are staring into space.
After encountering all 3 types we got into HMV where I saw the Mighty Boosh series 2 on DVD for £10, considering that series 1 was £10 too but the box set of series 1+2 together was £25 I considered this a bargain and bought it.
Friday I went into Solihull to look at the jobs once again, I’d like to talk about it but it was so boring an non-eventful that I might just bore you to death. Instead I’ll leave you with a whole episode of the Mighty Boosh. I spoil you guys, I really do!
Mighty Boosh!! episode fountain of youth
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