This Aint No Holiday, But It Always Turns Out This Way…

So I haven’t blogged for a couple of weeks, I’ve been busy with college work and stuff, so I’m going to try and update you with the latest news.

The weekend before last was more or less the same as the weekend before that.

Wait a second I’ve confused myself…

Oh yeah, I went round Chloe’s house and then we went to a party, her mum cooked us steak before though and it was the best steak I’ve ever eaten. The party was quite good, it was at Max’s house so I’d already met most of the people there. I had a bit too much to drink and stuff and after a whole bottle of wine and several Jack Daniel’s and cokes I decided not to drink anymore especially as the toilets were all taken up by people who had overdone it a bit. Some bloke started singing this really random song about getting Ben down by the fire and something to do with melted cheese, I cant remember the words but I laughed so much that I was in pain.

The next morning I woke up with a really bad hangover, but Chloe was feeling worse than me so I thought it might be for the best if I went home. On the way home I met up with Gemma in Birmingham, I had a Subway (which seemed like a good idea at the time), and we went round the shops before having a quick drink in the Actress and Bishop, but the thought of alcohol was just too much for me so I just spectated.

That evening we went to the driving range but I still felt ill and did quite crap, plus I had to get back to pack my case.

As I was packing my case the light bulb went in the lounge so as I tried to change it the whole fitting came loose from the ceiling, it took me absolutely ages to get back up because it was so damn fiddly but in the end it went back up ok only for my mum to tell me to not bother because she wanted to redecorate the ceiling.

Oh yeah, I was packing my case…

The next day I finally finished packing everything. The Idea was that Chloe and I had decided to have a few days in Bournemouth because she had the week off work, however we got lost along the way because the satellite navigation had a bit of a breakdown and sent us circling a roundabout for about 20 minutes while it was trying to decide which road it wanted to take.

As we approached this roundabout the satellite navigation said the following:

“Bear left in 400 yards and then
Bear left then
Prepare to bear left and
Bear left
Bear left
Bear left
Bear left and then
Bear left in 400 yards and then
Bear left”

…and so on.

Eventually the satellite navigation woman got over her bear leaving her and told us the correct way to go.

When we got to my dad’s house we went to Tesco (of course) and then got ourselves a Chinese, Chloe was feeling unwell though and had an early night.

The next day I thought I’d show Chloe what Bournemouth was like, there isn’t that much to show someone who doesn’t like the sea if you take them to a seaside town so we walked round the shops for a while, she went in Game and bought some Playstation 2 games, as she was paying for them I saw that they had Tony Hawk’s 3 going for £4.97, I’d played the first 2 and really enjoyed them so I decided I may as well get it, it was the first computer game I bought in years.

We then looked in HMV, they had a sale on but nothing really caught my eye, however I did see the book of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas going for £3.99 so I got it.

We then dropped our stuff off in the car and went for some lunch, I had a really nice lasagne, but this weird woman sat down behind me and started staring at Chloe so we did a runner. We walked down to the beach but Chloe started feeling ill (again) so we headed back to my dad’s house.

We got in and watched Clerks, which is a really good film and well worth seeing, then we headed off for a meal, I had duck and it was the best thing ever.

When we got back Chloe was still feeling ill and had another early night which was starting to piss me off a bit, it started to make me think that I’d said or done something wrong, but if she was feeling ill then she couldn’t help it.

I found it almost impossible to sleep that night, I could tell that Chloe was unhappy about something but she wouldn’t talk about it, I had a really strong feeling that me and Chloe were going to split and we still had one more night in Bournemouth, I was dreading it.

I got up and tried taking my mind off things, I kept telling myself it was just my paranoia and everything will be ok. When Chloe got up she was still feeling ill, I tried being supportive, I asked her what the problem was and offered to make her breakfast but she didn’t want any, by then I decided that I was just being stupid and to stop worrying.

We went to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, I really enjoyed it seeing as the original was one of my favourite films ever, but I spent the whole film aching for a piece of chocolate. When it had finished we went to Poole harbour, there wasn’t that much to do there and we were both really hungry so we grabbed some lunch, while we were eating it Chloe told me that she couldn’t wait to go home and that she wanted to go home that night.

She told me that it was because of her feeling ill and tired, so we went back to my dad’s house to pack our stuff up, she told me that she hoped my dad wouldn’t take it the wrong way, he said it was ok, but I knew for sure that I wasn’t ok about it, after all this was my break too, I didn’t want to have to cut it short only to split up as soon as we get back.

I asked Chloe if everything was ok apart from feeling ill and she told me everything was fine and not to worry, this made me feel a bit better even though I still had my doubts so I carried on pretending to be fine and acting like this whole thing wasn’t affecting me.

The journey back was horrible, we hardly spoke at all, I tried making conversation but all I got back was either ‘yes’ or ‘no’ but I kept trying to stay optimistic about the whole thing.

When I got home my mum’s first words were “is everything ok with you two?” to which I just said that she was feeling ill and everything was fine, the next day however was a different story.

I sent Chloe a text asking how she was feeling now, at this point I’d stopped worrying about us splitting up and I was more worried about how she was feeling, I had no reply so I thought maybe she was just sleeping. That night I’d still had no reply so the paranoia kicked in once again so I told my mum about how I felt that Chloe had lost all interest in me.

My mum has a weird way of looking at things and can put things into an entirely different context, she told me that maybe she’s not replied because she’s in hospital or something, I went to bed that night unable to sleep, I knew what was about to happen.

…3:49 that night I got a text off Chloe, I was still wide awake at the time, she told me that she didn’t think we should see each other anymore. I wasn’t surprised, I was more angry, mainly because I’d let someone mess me about again.

I found it quite selfish of her really, especially as she didn’t even think to ask how I was until almost a week later, plus there’s a whole element to this I’m completely leaving out because I don’t really want to talk about it on here. She tried to be sympathetic but I can tell she really couldn’t care less anymore, I really though Chloe was different to everyone else but now I know that I’ve still got a lot to learn before I can trust anyone like that again.

I’ve been thinking about what to do in September when all my college work is over, I feel like a whole new start, something completely different, I’m going to be 24 soon and I need to start making the most of things, to stop looking back and start looking forwards.

I have an idea, a crazy, spur of the moment idea, and I think I might just go for it…