Quick To The Point, To The Point No Faking, I'm Cooking MCs Like A Pound Of Bacon...

So I’m slowly getting the hang of my new phone, I’ve had it just over a week now and considering my old phone was like something from the Flintstones I’m adapting to the change pretty well.

One thing bugged me though…when I ordered it I also ordered £10 worth of credit, but when I got my phone and checked my balance there was no sign of it, I decided to phone Orange and have a word, however when I got to speak to somebody and tell them my problem they put me on hold, at this point I noticed that Scrubs was just starting so I switched it on…

“Could you just hold the line a second Mr Robinson?”
“Sure!”
*music starts* (This is where I switch Scrubs on)
*music stops*
“Mr Robinson?”
*Turk farts on TV* “…Shit!…um…hi!…” (Struggling to mute the TV)
“Could you just tell me your order number please?”
*Turk farts again on TV* “Bollocks!…um…yeah hang on…that was the TV not me by the way!”

I could hear the man laughing to himself as I read the number out, I think it taught me to always mute the TV before phoning somebody, it also taught me to check my credit before complaining that it didn’t go through as it went through about an hour before I phoned up…oh well, was worth a try I guess.

On Friday I went ice skating with Gaz, Marcus and Jenny. I hadn’t been ice skating in a few years so I was just hoping it was quiet in case I ended up on my arse. When we got there it was pretty packed and we even got frisked by a security bloke, I think we were the oldest people there because most of the people looked like they came straight from school.

After getting our skates on we got onto the ice, luckily I got the hang of it pretty quickly and was able to go all the way round without falling over. Just as I was doing well though I could see a big black man holding a woman’s hand and they were both coming towards me, the woman went one side, the man went the other and they didn’t let go of each other’s hands which resulted in me being clotheslined to my arse, I got up, looked round to make sure nobody saw and carried on skating.

After a while we all built up an appetite and headed next door as Adam joined us for a Chinese buffet. As always with Chinese buffets I can never remember what I ate but I can guarantee you that I tried nearly everything they had there, the only thing I can remember eating was duck - which I very gracefully flipped over my shoulder as I tried to pick it up with chopsticks.

My weekend was pretty dull as always, so dull in fact that I don’t even remember it…I’m sure it’ll come back to me.

On Monday me and Gaz went round Adam’s house to play Gears Of War on the Xbox 360, after a while we decided to take the game over to Gaz’s house so we could do the 2 player mode and try it online. The game was pretty amazing, a bit difficult to control at first but when you get the hang of it it’s hard to put down…we never did get round to playing it online though.

Yesterday we planned to go and see Jackass 2, now this had been the plan before but it got changed due to Cineworld in Solihull not wanting to show it, so we had to venture over to Rubery to see the movie.

On the way there though something happened which I’ll never forget…a car which was a few cars ahead of us had stopped and put on it’s hazard lights, we thought it had broken down at first until it came to overtaking it and we saw a boy lying down in front of the car. I went cold as I saw this kid lying there, I should have been more worried but I forced myself to block the image out of my mind for the night.

The film itself was hilarious and yet enough to make you vomit at the same time, I’m pretty sure you could be arrested for describing half of the things they did let alone copying them. Just in case you’re not squeamish…here’s a trailer for you…



So I’m making a promise now, I’m not going to backdate this blog any longer…and if I do…well…um…you have the right to slap me right in the face.

So to go on with have this trailer for some film coming out later this year…



…Er…the bunny’s not breathing!