Sometimes It's Hard To Stop When Your Heart Is Set On Top Of The Pops...Top Of The Pops!...

Well I’m home now and back to trusty Firefox, one more minute with internet explorer would have caused my head to implode. This was meant to be 2 separate blogs but I forgot to upload the first one so now you have 100% extra free, which means twice the fun.

So lets go back a couple of weeks, just after I posted my last blog I decided to go for a walk along the river, unfortunately it was raining really heavily so I held back until it stopped, however by the time it stopped it had got dark and my dad was home so we went for a meal instead (I didn‘t have to install Windows Vista after all, my dad had to collect something from the post office which in the end turned out to be a huge book of terms and conditions about some shares he has). We went to the mountbatten arms in Poole, my dad kept talking about how much he fancied a cottage pie but it wasn’t on the menu, he had to have something else although he was determined to have this cottage pie one way or another. I ordered minted lamb steaks, when I ordered it they asked me how I wanted it cooked, nobody had ever asked me this before with lamb so I had it done medium and it was delicious, best lamb I’ve ever had.

Walking disaster part 1…

When we got back to my dad’s house I got out of the car and locked my door (he doesn’t have central locking), I was sat down in the lounge when my dad comes in and asks what I did to the door, I looked at him slightly puzzled, he told me that it’s locked and won’t open again. Somehow when I closed the door something must have come unhooked which means that the door won’t open.

The next day we needed something to do, I couldn’t think of anything so my dad suggested Glastonbury and then Clarks village. After having to climb across the driver’s seat we started out, it was a 90 minute journey and quite coincidentally Manchester United were playing that day so my dad listened to the match on the way, luckily I had my iPod with me to drown out the noise.

When we got to Glastonbury it was more or less what you’d expect, there were lots of hippy type shops all burning incense, we were also the only people there without dreadlocks. To be honest I found it pretty boring, plus I really needed a wee and there were no toilets anywhere.

We got back in the car and headed to Clarks village, this is a sort of shopping centre for factory outlet shops, I’ve got stuff really cheap there before and was hoping to bag a few bargains. The first shop we went into was the Sony shop, we thought maybe we’d get a 78 inch HD flat screen TV for a fiver, although when we looked at the prices instead of them being cheaper they were more money, my dad thought I was lying when I told him so I decided to see if they sold my stereo which I know was £75, they were selling it for £150...we left. After walking round for a while and deciding that this place was just one giant rip off we came to the conclusion that food would be a better idea.

We went to this pub and looked at the menu, it was the same menu as the angel but my dad saw cottage pie so he was happy, I ordered the white and smoked fish in tomato, spinach and cheese sauce, unfortunately for my dad though the cottage pie was off which only made him more determined.

Walking disaster part 2…

The next day was my last full day so I wanted to make the most of it. I sat up to get dressed and suddenly the bed snapped in the middle into a V shape. These things always happen in threes, I was just waiting for the next thing to happen.

After having to fix the bed we decided to go to Poole. When we got there it was raining pretty bad, we ran into Sainsbury’s to grab a few things and then the rain got worse so we had a look in the shopping centre. Unfortunately all the shops were just closing as it was a Sunday so we needed another plan…bowling?…yeah, why not?

When we got there the place was packed full of kids, so much so that the bowling balls were greasy because all the kids were eating as they bowled, although they made up for this by having the bumpers up and not being able to take them down…wankers.

We had 2 games, the first one was okayish, but the 2nd one was awful, my dad hit several strikes and I could barely hit a pin (and thats with the bumpers up), after the 7th frame I decided to chose a different ball. When my next turn came I tried it…strike! Not bad, it would take quite a stretch for me to win this game though, my next turn came…strike! This is more like it, it was possible for me to win this game but it would at least require another strike…strike! My first ever turkey! In fact if I got a strike on my next go I’d probably win the game…9 pins down…bugger! Although I finished off the spare and won the game with 149 points, my 2nd highest score ever!

Walking disaster part 3…

After my impressive victory we headed to the pure drop for a meal, I had chicken tikka masala and my dad finally got to order his cottage pie. As we were waiting for our meals I told my dad about Gaz’s theory about cottage pie containing pastry, my dad agreed with me that it doesn’t have and never will have pastry. At that point our meals arrived and there was my dad’s cottage pie…WITH PASTRY!!! I was speechless. In fact I don’t think I said a single thing until we got back to my dad’s house, I turned the light on and *ping* not only had the light gone but I managed to blow the fuse too! I swear my dad must have been dying for me to go home before I burnt the house down.

Speaking of going home, the next day I had my coach booked to come home, although this time my dad wouldn’t be able to drop me off at the coach station as he wouldn’t be able to get away from work so I needed to get a taxi. This was fine by me but I had visions of oversleeping, luckily I was ready in time and got on the coach with plenty of time left.

The coach journey was pretty dull and took about 5 hours, the highlight was when the coach stopped at some lights at Southampton and some men sat on a bench gave me this really patronizing wave which I replied with the Hot Fuzz 2 finger salute, the shocked looks on their faces were priceless!

When I got home I ordered a Chinese and then headed off to Adam’s house with Gaz, on the way I picked up Borat on DVD so we could watch it there, that film has me in stitches every time.

On Tuesday we all went to see Ghost Rider in the evening, I had a feeling it was going to be a bit crap and I was right, the storyline was predictable, the lines were all clichéd and Nicholas Cage in my opinion is the 2nd worst actor ever (the first of course being Tom Cruise), it felt like it lasted longer than my coach journey. If you feel like taking a look for yourself click here.

Wednesday was my chance to catch up from my few days away, it had all worn me out and I needed a day to just recover. The next few days were rather boring, the highlight being my sister dropping a salad in Sainsbury’s and it going everywhere.

Last Monday we decided to try the pub quiz at the saxon, we’d never been there before so we thought we’d see what it was like. Unfortunately though we hadn’t done our research as the pub quiz there is held on a Sunday so we all just had a drink instead. While we were sat there a drunk Irish man staggered up to the table and said…

“Hello there!…”
“Er…hello…”
“I was just wondering…er…oh feck it I have the wrong table…”

As soon as he walked off we were trying not to laugh, until he went up to someone else’s table and did the exact same thing.

Tuesday night we were all going to see Epic Movie but it wasn’t showing in Solihull, probably because from what I’d heard it’s a pile of crap. Instead we watched videos on Youtube and episodes of Family Guy.

The rest of my week was too boring to even remember, I do remember attempting to tidy my room at one point but the excitement was too much for me and I needed to lie down.

The weekend however is a different story, I needed to get my mum a mother’s day present, but before I started out on Saturday to get it my sister came in and told me she’d got a present from both of us, this meant I could relax…until the evening when my sister said…

“Where’s the card?”
“I thought you…”
“…no!…”

It was half 9, Sainsbury’s closed at 10, I got my shoes on and ran up to Sainsbury’s, I managed to get one just before they shut. As I was walking home I started to feel a bit uneasy, not only were there bunches of kids roaming the streets but I saw one smash a car’s window, I walked faster and managed to lose them. As I turned into my road though I noticed 2 blokes stood on the balcony of the flats, I kept walking and suddenly this glass bottle flies past my head and smashes on the floor right next to me, I turned round to see them laughing about it, it wasn’t until I got home that I realized that if the bottle was a couple of inches to the right I could have been dead.

This really is the final straw for me, I hate this area, apart from that incident I’ve been beaten up round the corner from my house in the past, plus my car was set alight at the park last year, and these are just things that have happened to me. I want to move as quickly as possible, I’ve had enough!

Anyway…Sunday was mother’s day, we gave my mum a box set of Jane Austen DVDs which she was very pleased with, we also gave her the card which we quickly wrote. In the evening my mum was getting ready to go to work and my sister was suddenly ill, my mum asked me to keep an eye on her while she was at work.

About half an hour after my mum had gone to work I heard my sister get out of bed, stand at the top of the stairs and start wretching, I was praying that she wasn’t going to be sick but sure enough she was and somehow she managed to get it all the way from the top step down to the bottom one, I found this quite impressive until I realized that I’d be the one who had to clean it up. Nobody deserves the job of cleaning up someone else’s sick…unless the money was good though…in fact I’ll ask next time I’m at the job centre.

Monday evening Gaz rang me and asked if I fancied going bowling, eager to repeat my wonderful score from the other week I jumped at the chance. When we got there though I turned out to be shit again and didn’t win, however this time Gaz did exactly what I did before - getting 3 strikes and then a spare in the last few frames.

The next day we all went to Big Wok in brum, it was a big Chinese buffet and the food is very nice, although if like me you’re lactose intolerant do not get tempted by the ice cream machine, firstly it contains milk (duh!), secondly the handle sticks when you pull it down leaving you with a great big mountain of ice cream to eat. Thankfully my guts stayed intact and we headed off to this bar for a quick beverage before going back to Gaz’s and watching American Chopper and South Park.

The rest of the week was dull apart from today…

Now for the past few months I’ve been putting a bit of money aside each week so I can buy something big, a digital SLR perhaps? Or maybe even a big 4 in one A3 printer? How about a laptop?…

…Sod it! I’ll buy and Xbox 360! I headed into Solihull and saw one in HMV with Smackdown vs. Raw 2007 for £299.99 but they’d knocked £20 off, I looked in my wallet and not only did I have a £10 gift voucher off my sister, but I had a £5 HMV voucher too. The man who worked there told me that I couldn’t use the £5 voucher but seeing as they hadn’t explained that in the terms and conditions I got the £5 off anyway, so in total I saved myself a nifty £35.

I’m starting to know how these kids must have felt now…



…Fooouuurrr!